Dear God, I want to stop time please!

     I find myself with the urge to write after returning from my first Church Leader Retreat with a revamped spirit for my ministry work and my family. The Lord has chosen me and I feel so unworthy of his choice to lead within the church and be a wife and mother, it is such an honor. I had a wonderful time away, getting to know some of my "Servant Sisters," as I am now calling them. We shared stories of our lives and things that struck cords in all of us, but one of the women shared with me the story of losing her youngest son in an accident. Being that my Jenson is turning 3 tomorrow I couldn't help but wonder "what if..."
I have been having so many days here lately where I want to scream at the top of my lungs, or run away from the "Little Dictator" that rules our household. No punishment, no consequence, nothing works for my strong willed child. I went into the weekend excited to get away for a bit but when I started wondering the "what if," after her story I found myself wanting to touch and hold my babies.
I cannot imagine what my life would be like without them. I can't sympathize with her, but I look up to her so much spiritually and motherly for how strong she is. I immediately thought about all of the times that I complain about my "Terrible Toddler" and realized that his time here with me is not a guarantee. His time, all of our times are on God's calendar. So while my little terrorist is here with me I have no time to be complaining about how he is acting, or that he refuses to potty train, or he won't give up the pacifier at night. I just want time to stop! Don't let tomorrow come and keep me here with my children while they are so innocent.
I thank that friend for sharing with me because it really helped to bring me back down to earth when I needed it and she didn't even know that.

So all of that being said...my Jenson turns 3 tomorrow, and as I wipe tears away I can only assume I can't stop time. My babies are going to grow and life is going to happen. We have to live in the now, the every day, the every moment. Jake, Jenson, and Marshall are my life, and I have to enjoy my life!

Jenson Davis Hennig, where did the time go? When did you become such a big boy? Where is my baby that I brought home? I guess I will always feel this way about you and your brother. I will love you forever.
Happy Birthday baby boy! Happy Birthday.

-Mommy